shocked!

You never know what's gonna come out on the news update today (unless u're the reporter or u've been to 'tempat kejadian') and you never know what breaking news your mom is gonna give you when you call home.

My Mak is very good at keeping secrets. She would keep things or stories from me if she feels that talking about it would hurt her inside or if she knows I'd be mad upon hearing the news (when it is still current).

So what Mak did was, she kept this one particular story for a month and decided to tell it to me last night when I called. On the phone, we were talking about my nieces and nephews, about my Along who opted for VSS recently, and about Cousin Lina who’s tying the knot this weekend. Then suddenly Mak broke the news;

“Kat rumah ni pun ada orang nak kawin”

“Ha? Rumah tu?” (I thought it was my sis.. but then no, she’s still nursing her broken heart. Takkan cepat sgt kot. Or issit my Along, huh, lagi tak logik)

“Aha.. ya, rumah ni… Ubi nak dapat adik ipar”

“Ape mak? Haa?? Bila? Eh biar benar… ” (shocked!)

“Ya, betul, minggu depan”

“MINGGU DEPAN?!!! Makk!! Apsal tetiba je ni?”

“Tak tau la Ubi. Mak tak tau nak cakap apa. Orang dah tetap tarikh, takkan kita pulak nak kansel-kansel. Bertunang bulan lepas.”

“Laaa.. mak tak cakap pun”

“Mak tak rasa nak cakap.. entah. Tak tau nak kata. Lepas Mak balik dari KL hantar Ubi kat KLIA, Mama dia phone, ajak semua pegi rumah, sampai2 nampak semua barang dah ada atas ‘por’, ada cincin. Mak ingatkan baru nak merisik, rupanya nak pergi bertunang malam tu. Masa tu mak tak cakap sepatah pun. Masa tu mak rasa nak marah sgt kat Mama dia, ingatkan Mama dia sengaja tak cakap dekat Mak, rupanya masa Mak kat KL tu adik bawak cincin pegi jumpa Mama dia, cakap nak bertunang”

“Ya Allah budak ni… tu boleh ke nak bagi makan anak dara orang tu? Adik mana mak?”

“Belum balik. Sekarang adik asyik kerja sampai malam. Nak kumpul duit la kot. Tak tau la Ubi, nak kata pun tak kena, Mama dia setuju, belah pompuan pun dah siap tetap tarikh dengan berapa duit hantaran. Takkan mak tiba-tiba tak nak bagi pulak. Kalau dah Mama Papa dia tak larang, takkan mak nak pandai-pandai pulak.”

*pening!*

Don’t be confused here, my little bro has two sets of parents. He has Ayah & Mak, my parents who brought him up for the past 24 yrs and he also has Mama & Papa, his real parents who rarely saw him when he was a boy, but ‘claim’ him when he has grown up.

If you’re a mom, wouldn’t you be shocked if you're suddenly been informed that the boy you’ve raised for 24 yrs would get engaged later that evening and the wedding will be in a month time? I know Mak kecik hati with what happened but I also I know that Mak is doing everything she could to make the upcoming wedding a success.

At first when I heard that I feel like going to chase my little bro and pull his ears. I still think of him as my cute little adik. I knew that one day he's gonna get married earlier than me based on his track record of keeping girlfriends, but NOW?? Why can't he wait until say.. end of this year? I don’t even come close to think that he’s financially & spiritually ready to be a husband now. I was fuming mad to hear that he planned things out without even discussing it with my parents. (Not that he has a good plan anyway. Mak & Ayah jugak tunggang terbalik has to prepare things for him). I really did not think he’s ready to be the man of the house yet. I thought it was ridiculous. Yes my bro has a job, an unstable one with meager income. Sure he can put some food on the table. Yet I don’t think that’s enough to build a family.

Then I did some thinking..

I decided to NOT be angry because;

I know it is just me crying inside for not wanting to lose the LITTLE bro.

I know it is time for him to prove that he is capable of leading a family of his own.

I know that he decided not to discuss with us because he knew that we would go against the idea of him getting married now.

I forgot that a marriage should be 'dipermudahkan' and not make it complicated.

******

I'm sad because I couldn't be there to help and to witness his special day. I miss to have a kenduri kahwin in our family. The last wedding we had was 17 long years ago and after the long wait, I'm going to miss this one too.

All I can do now is pray for his best.

Oh by the way, bendulku sudah mau dilangkah!!

pffft...

I checked the bus schedule for the 6th time. The bus was supposed to arrive at 10pm and depart from campus at 10.10pm. It was 10.20pm then. I've waited for almost half an hour. Left the bus stop 5 mins after that.

Dang.. it was my first day living away from campus and I missed the last bus home. Wait, I didn't miss the bus, it didn't even come.

While cursing, I realized something. Oppsss.. the bus schedule I had was actually last year's. Probably they've made some changes to that.

Googled for a new schedule.

Found.

Last bus from X University : 9.17pm.

I'm hungry.

I hate myself.

I'll go buy a car tomorrow.

Misy@r (update)

From Mingguan Malaysia today. I know most of you must have read this from the paper/web itself, but I still want to post it here anyway.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Misyar bukan penyelesaian
Oleh MOHD. SHAUKI BIN ABD. MAJID (Penolong Pengarah YADIM)

PERKAHWINAN merupakan proses transformasi yang paling besar dalam kehidupan seseorang insan. Allah s.w.t membicarakan perkara ini di dalam al-Quran dengan menyatakan perkahwinan itu adalah mitsaqan ghaliza (ikatan paling kukuh). Rasulullah s.a.w. pernah bersabda: Dan kamu hanya dapat berhubungan biologi dengan mereka secara halal melalui kalimat-kalimat Allah. (HR. Muslim).

Oleh hal yang demikian, alam perkahwinan itu sangat mulia sifatnya dan mempunyai nilai ibadah di sisi Allah. Manusia harus sedar bahawa perjalanan seseorang insan hidup di muka bumi ini bukan sekadar memenuhi nafsu syahwat. Begitu juga alam perkahwinan yang mempunyai maksud dan tujuan amat besar. Perkahwinan disifatkan amalan mulia kerana tujuan sebenar menurut Islam adalah membentuk keluarga sakinah, mawaddah dan rahmah yang menjadi generasi pewaris kepada perjuangan menyebarkan syiar Islam.
Mutakhir ini, beberapa negara Islam dilanda fenomena perkahwinan misyar yang agak serius. Hal ini disebabkan perubahan budaya dan pemikiran dalam kehidupan. Perkahwinan jenis ini bukanlah perkara baru tetapi wujud sejak zaman dahulu dan menamakan perkahwinan ini sebagai ‘misyar’.

Perkahwinan misyar terjadi akibat pengaruh asimilasi budaya antara negara dan daerah-daerah di dunia. Hakikatnya, perkahwinan misyar dilaksanakan oleh seorang lelaki melalui akad nikah yang sebenar, cukup rukun dan syarat sah nikah Namun, isteri perlu mengalah daripada menuntut haknya seperti mendapat tempat tinggal yang disiapkan suami.

Sekiranya si suami berpoligami, hak mendapat nafkah yang adil tidak diterima sepenuhnya di antara si isteri dengan isteri-isteri yang lain. Oleh hal yang demikian, si isteri harus dengan rela hati tinggal di rumah bersama keluarganya.

Zuriat
Benarkah seorang lelaki yang berkahwin boleh berada di sisi isteri dalam tempoh tertentu sahaja seperti sehari dalam seminggu atau sebulan dua dalam setahun? Kemudian si suami akan meninggalkan isterinya dan mencari kenikmatan dunia yang lain? Adakah wanita atau isteri itu dikahwini sekadar untuk mendapatkan zuriat sehingga diabaikan tanggungjawab dan hak-hak yang lain?

Sekiranya perkahwinan seperti ini terjadi, jelas berlaku penyimpangan terhadap maksud sebenar Allah mensyariatkan perkahwinan kepada umat Muslim. Dan, hal yang demikian ini jelas melanggar perintah Rasulullah kepada umatnya dalam sabda baginda: Bernikahlah kamu, berketurunanlah kamu, sesungguhnya aku (berbangga) banyak umatku keranamu (atas umat yang lain). (HR. Abu Daud, an- Nasai, dan al-Baihaqi).

Menurut mufti Mesir, Dr. Nashir Farid Washil, ketika diwawancara dalam majalah Akhir Sa’ah (Detik Terakhir), perkahwinan jenis ini tidak ada dasarnya dalam ilmu fikah. Ia diambil daripada realiti kehidupan yang mementingkan kebendaan. Oleh kerana kehidupan sesetengah manusia yang sering berjalan dan berpindah-randah, maka ada di kalangan ahli syariat dalam negara tertentu memikirkannya, apakah seseorang perempuan lebih baik hidup selamanya tanpa suami atau dia terpaksa mengalah dari sebahagian hak-haknya untuk berkahwin?

Mungkin ada sesetengah pendapat terutamanya para wali dan ibu bapa yang bersetuju kerana lebih baik seseorang wanita itu berkahwin. Justeru, dalam fikah perkahwinan misyar ini tidak ada asal usulnya tetapi menurut syariat, perkahwinan ini adalah sah.

Perkahwinan ini hanya membentuk kedudukan yang paling rendah dari segi hubungan suami isteri. Ia jelas lari dari tujuan sebenar perkahwinan iaitu untuk mewujudkan keluarga bahagia, menghasilkan keturunan serta membangunkan generasi yang baik. Dalam perkahwinan misyar, harga diri seorang suami adalah rendah kerana semua tanggungjawab dan kewajipan suami terhadap isteri tidak terletak pada dirinya. Sebaliknya, seorang suami itu menjadi tanggungan isteri. Perkahwinan misyar tidak memenuhi prinsip adil kepada mereka yang berpoligami kerana seseorang suami boleh tinggal dengan salah seorang isteri selama beberapa hari, sedangkan di tempat lain untuk tempoh yang lama.

Perkahwinan misyar boleh memberi impak besar ke atas emosi isteri kerana ditinggalkan terlalu lama. Bahkan, ini dikhuatiri mengundang gejala negatif kerana tidak semua wanita boleh bersabar.

Keperluan nafkah batin di antara wanita dengan wanita lain adalah berbeza-beza. Secara tidak langsung, institusi rumah tangga turut menerima implikasi khususnya terhadap jiwa anak-anak. Oleh itu, perkahwinan ini hanya menambahkan permasalahan boleh menghancurkan institusi kekeluargaan serta tidak bertepatan dengan hukum syariah.

Kecenderungan seksual adalah kecenderungan yang menyebabkan timbulnya “al-misyar”, justeru berasaskan kecenderungan ini maka Allah mensyariatkan perkahwinan dengan hukum-hukum dan ketentuan-ketentuannya. Tapi kita harus memudahkan bukan merumitkan, pada saat kita memudahkan pintu-pintu yang halal maka pintu-pintu yang haram akan tertutup, tetapi apabila kita menyulitkan pintu-pintu halal, maka pintu-pintu yang haram akan terbuka. Tidak ada penyelesaian dari krisis ini kecuali kembali kepada apa yang diperintah oleh Allah dan rasul–Nya. Nabi bersabda yang bermaksud: Carilah mahar walau cincin daripada besi.

Inilah Islam, akan tetapi kita sering mencari jalan yang aneh dan cacat seperti perkahwinan misyar.
Berdasarkan kepada tujuan-tujuan perkahwinan yang dinyatakan tadi, seharusnya umat Islam bersama-sama menyelesaikan permasalahan ini. Perkahwinan misyar bukan jalan penyelesaian terbaik kepada masalah ramai wanita yang tidak berkahwin dan juga masalah maksiat dalam masyarakat.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Misy@r (Omar)

2nd post in a day.. like tak de kerja! (gosh I have tons to do here) but I just couldn't help but to say something on this news.

Great! Last month we had "janda gatal" issue (I just repeat the term they use, by all means I do not describe them that way) and now they're discussing both - the jandas and andalusias (anak-dara-lanjut-usia). I don't mean to show disrespect to an expert in religious matters, but I just don't get it when people say

"Apatah lagi dalam keadaan hari ini, wujudnya masalah ramai janda dan gadis yang tidak berkahwin. "

Now what's the problem if we have jandas and gatibers (gadis tidak berkahwin!). Do we have more maksiat just because this two groups of people do not become wife and don't get their doses of nafkah batin? PLEASE lahhhh! Like all the unmarried ladies so tergedik2 craving for sex... Hell NO!!!

I know SOME pea-sized-brain-Malay-men out there must be cheering out loud if they legalised this misyar marriage. Even today, when this misyar is not yet legal in Malaysia, there's soooo many women out there suffer being wife & living with ONLY nafkah batin.

The main idea of this misyar is that a hubby do not need to give nafkah zahir, so if you're a man who earn just enough for yourself and cannot afford to bagi makan anak orang you still can get married...great! So when you provide the nafkah batin, the wifey gets pregnant and here comes the baby. Now who should provide for the baby? Oh yeah.. the ladies are all so rich they can provide everything for the kids too... rite!!!

Hmmm... go on.. go make it legal.. I just wanna keep track of the divorce rate after that. *snigger*

D^ Vinci

D^Vinci snack pack- a huge coke, a large popcorn & Maltesers

Went to watch D@ Vinci C0de last night. That was my 2nd trip to a cinema in Christchurch. The first one was in Nov 2004. Yes it took me that long to return. I go to movies more frequent whenever I go home.

Am not offering any movie review here. I enjoyed the first half of the movie, paid attention to every lines... took mental note of every details...then suddenly my brain received a code message that deciphered as "Warning: full bladder - gotta pee now!". No, I didn't wanna leave the theatre in the middle of a movie. I didn't wanna miss anything so I had to resist the urge to go. From that second onwards, I lost focus and my mind kept saying "Ok quick, solve the mystery, kill whoever you want to kill, and Mr Police, please go get all the bad guys and end this story, hurry up, I need to pee!"

Finally, after more than an hour of torment, the story ended. Fuhhh.. at last! I made a quick dash to the loo. I should remind myself to never again quaff a huge tumbler of coke whenever I go to movies.

Anyone wants some popcorn? I have heaps! boleh bagi makan ayam...

Forget.. I'm not sure I could

Dixie Chicks - Not Ready To Make Nice

Provided by VideoCodes4U.com

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I’m not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt

There’s nothing left for me to figure out

I’ve paid a price

And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice

I’m not ready to back down

I’m still mad as hell and

I don’t have time to go round and round and round

It’s too late to make it right

I probably wouldn’t if I could

‘Cause I’m mad as hell

Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said

Can’t you just get over it

It turned my whole world around

And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby

With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’

It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her

Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger

And how in the world can the words that I said

Send somebody so over the edge

That they’d write me a letter

Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing

Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice

I’m not ready to back down

I’m still mad as hell and

I don’t have time to go round and round and round

It’s too late to make it right

I probably wouldn’t if I could

‘Cause I’m mad as hell

Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice

I’m not ready to back down

I’m still mad as hell and

I don’t have time to go round and round and round

It’s too late to make it right

I probably wouldn’t if I could

‘Cause I’m mad as hell

Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I’m not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I’m still waiting

Ubi- I just hate it when people lie (who doesn't?). And I hate it more when I cannot confront the person face to face. Urgh...

Oh by the way, I love Dixie Chicks!

munching

I don't need to be pregnant to crave for this and dat.. I have my own monthly cravings.. and now I go for fruits and veggies. I drool at the sight of fresh edible stuff coming from kingdom plantae. I wanna put everything in my trolley when I walk past the fresh section at Pak'n'Save.

A new one on my fruit list: blood orange. This orange looks red instead of orange. At first I thought it is a rotten one.

Tamarillo & Blood Orange (me hates tamarillo!)

When I cut them for brekkie, they look like this.. blood red and hints of pink on the peel. It looks as if someone has injected some colourings into it. The look is not as appealing as the normal oranges but they taste just as sweet. Yummy & juicy. Now I wonder, if God makes all oranges in red, what would the English call the color kuning bata (in Ganuspeak) or jingga?

My all time favourite.. A box of cherry tomatoes for lunch, yums, am a sucker for tomatoes. Finished the whole box in minutes. I’m getting enough vit C, vit A, potassium and iron for today, yeay!

McD Vege DeliChoice for Dinner

Thanks Mr Donalds for putting something that I can eat in your menu (besides the fries & fish fillet). And yes I'm lovin' it. While at it, I found out that my 'inggerish' must be very bad that your staff, the ordering operator at the drive through could not understand what I ordered. I had to talk to them face to face in order to get the correct one. I ordered Vege Deli Choice, and miss operator took it as Sundae. Do they even rhyme?

Ok ppl, don't forget to eat your greens... or red or orange.. whatever the color is.

Ubi- *still munching*

moonlight and roses

Moon in Canterbury . 2040 .13052006

Moonlight and roses,

bring wonderful memories of you,

My heart reposes,

in beautiful thoughts so true,

June light discloses,

love's golden dreams sparkling a-new,

Moonlight and Roses,

brings memories of you.

Ben Black & Neil Moret, 1925

I'm not in angau mood, not in love or whatever.. I just find the sky, the stars and the moon so beautiful tonite. I wish I have someone to sit with and enjoy the view (suddenly EJ comes to mind).. a picnic under the stars.. ahhh.. but cannot - too cold out there!

the gift

When I went home mid last year, it was just over a week after Mother’s Day. Mak told me my cousin’s MIL sulked because her son and DIL did not give her anything for Mothers Day. That makcik expected gifts from each one of her children and menantus every Mother’s Day and she even compare the value of gifts given by her children. Mak laughed and shook her head when telling me the story. I was helping Mak to chop onions to cook lunch at the time. Then I jokingly asked Mak, what she would like me to give her and Mak said this:

“I don’t want to ask anything from you… You hardly spend time in this house anymore. To have you coming home is always a gift. To be able to feed you again is a gift. I just need that from my children”.

I held my breath when I heard that.. almost burst into tears. I really wanted to get up and give her a hug, but I just didn’t. My eyes must have turned red, but if anyone asked me why, I would blame it on the onions! I could not stand being in ‘syahdu mood’ that I cracked a joke.. couldn’t bear to listen to Mak saying things like that again…it could make me cry sebaldi!

All my siblings live within half an hour drive from our parents. They can afford to give Mak weekly or even daily visits. They can give Mak the gifts that Mak needs from her children. I’m sorry Mak, I can’t give you the gifts as often as I want to… I cannot be present as a present for you this Mother's Day but it does not mean that I love you less.

I love you Mak!
Happy Mother's Day to Mak..

and to all mothers out there.

update?

I've been doing what I'm told

I've been busy growing old

And the days are getting cold but that's alright with me

Listening For The Weather - Bic Runga

*

Did I say weeks?

Hmm.. just shoot me...

As what that dancing lady said, I must have been itching to update.

Someone pass me some Agnesia talc please..

My hands really itch! :D

*hope that means I'm getting my allowance soon*

**

I think I'm growing old (duh... were you not?)

I'm seeing the signs

So you say that Ol@y T0tal Effect fights 7 signs of aging?

Now I'm looking at more than 7.. countless!

***

The mobile beeps

1 message received

*read name*

Yess..

*read message*

Smile..

Smile all day..

A simple & innocent text message can work wonders

It can make a rainy autumn day looks bright and sunny

It spells i.n.f.a.t.u.a.t.i.o.n

Hey wake up!

Stop dreaming-lah

*knock head*